i can't get that crazy man jed's random intelligence out of my head, we were wrecking daltons shitty little neon on an offroad trail in williams by the illies, talking about the carnivorous plants that litter that field. for a horndog, that drunk is fucking smart. hick smart.






anyway, it's that time of year again. the celebration of my mental maturity at an all too early age. i can proudly say i'm over the initial depression of losing my dad. 11 seems, finally, like it was long enough to let that shit go.


all optimism and the attempted appreciations of simple beauties tell me that time will do it's healing on problems of the present. my emotional nerve endings sprawling out like tree branches to any person like they hold the sunlight i need tells me that shit still fucking sucks and theres not a damn thing i can do about it and i'm being fucking pathetic. i hate myself sometimes.

i suppose i'll just have to put up with it for now. i have a natural patience working in my favor, but alienation downing me like an awkwardly shaped weight on a finch.




i need some krylon so i can get some shit put up.